How To Make a Thomas Kincade Movie

[bryant]

Peter O’Toole? What has become of you?

Thomas Kincade is the paints with light guy. And love. He paints with love.

16) Most important concept of all — THE CONCEPT OF LOVE. Perhaps we could make large posters that simply say “Love this movie” and post them about. I pour a lot of love into each painting, and sense that our crew has a genuine affection for this project. This starts with Michael Campus as a Director who feels great love towards this project, and should filter down through the ranks. Remember: “Every scene is the best scene.”

He wrote a memo explaining how his movie should look. Which is to say: gauzy, full of light, and dark at the corners so it’s more cozy. Like this.

Isn’t that nice? Peter O’Toole’s looking a bit desperate in the movie poster, I think.

Originally published at Imaginary Vestibule.

Comments

[bluegargantua]

No, wait, dude, in the painting. You've got the house, blazing with lights. The streetlamps are lit (I'm not even talking about the oddity of regular streetlamps along an unmaintained wagon track).

THE SUN IS STILL BLAZING DOWN FROM ABOVE!

It's early or mid afternoon at the latest and all the lights in town are on. What the hell is wrong with you Thomas Kinkade?

later
Tom

[editswlonghair.livejournal.com]

This pushes my buttons on so many levels:

a) I cannot stand Thomas Kinkade: Painter of Light™, his WalMartArt, or his vapid fans. One hopes that he manufactures his prints with extremely poor quality Chinese inks that degrade over time and release deadly vapors. It'd be fantastic if the Rapture that so many of his happy clappy Christian dominionist followers are yearning for comes in the form of them falling dead in their hermetically sealed McMansions.

b) How dare that insufferable git presume to use Barry Lyndon as a template for his schmaltz. How dare he! ;p

c) He's made $4 billion selling that shit? Christ almighty... I hate our freedom.

d) Just reading the saccharine descriptions in the style memo gave me diabetes.

Here endeth my rant. ;)

[tfbretz.livejournal.com]

Is is just me or is there something seriously wrong with the cast header on that poster?

Perhaps Peter O'Toole can team up with Ice Cube in the next "Are We There Yet?" sequel.

[editswlonghair.livejournal.com]

I know... from Lawrence of Arabia, Lion in Winter and How to Steal a Million to this. Oh well. One hopes it was just a paycheck.

[rdansky.livejournal.com]

Is it too much to hope that this is really another one of those super-special high concept episodes of Supernatural?

[heart-of-stars.livejournal.com]

Oh, Sam Winchester, say it ain't so. I mean, I know actors have to eat like everyone else, but still... ew.

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

If you've seen any interviews with O'Toole recently, I'm afraid it's obvious that he's pretty far gone into some kind of mild dementia. I get the impression that he's happiest when he's working and his relatives and agent are trying to find him easy things to do. :(

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

TK, the man who peed on Winnie the Pooh, can suck it.

Who wants to work on a Thomas Kinkade horror movie? We need Zombies of Light...

[head58.livejournal.com]

"Next on Lifetime: Sir Lawrence Olivier in 'I Woke Up Pregnant'. And later, Orson Welles presents 'Email to My Stalker: The Jane Doe Story'..."

[editswlonghair.livejournal.com]

Orson Welles presents F is for Fake II: The Clark Rockefeller Story. ;)

[head58.livejournal.com]

I actually used a "Lifetime Movie Name Generator" for that one...

[ultra-lilac.livejournal.com]

But he forgot to tell them to include his great love of sexually assaulting women and territorial urination! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Kincaid)
The pee should be a golden color to produce a feeling of warmth.

[editswlonghair.livejournal.com]

::snerk:: Does it give you a cast roster as well? I bet Meredith Baxter Birney figures prominently. ;)

[head58.livejournal.com]

And the woman that played Jo on Facts of Life!

http://www.bredcrumbs.com/lifetime-movie-title-generator/

[kodi]

"Light" is a "theme"?

[bryant]

Marcia Gay Harden's certainly changed her look, hasn't she?

Yeah, the captions are badly misplaced. Or the heads are. One or the other.