[Population: One] <A HREF="http://popone.innocence.com/ar

Actually, Dan, Pedro is not “the neediest 10-game winner in baseball history.” He’s the guy who’s giving the Boston Red Sox a chance to win a World Series. It’ll take Manny and Nomar and Varitek to get us to the playoffs, but if the Sox get there, it’s going to be Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe who take the team the rest of the way. This team — this city — needs Pedro.

I am wholly sick of the sports radio idiots who whine about Pedro’s 17.5 million. Most of Boston isn’t, in fact, paying Pedro’s salary. I didn’t buy any tickets this season, and I’m still getting the pleasure of watching Pedro pitch on television. From where I sit, it’s a freebie. Dan Shaughnessy isn’t paying for tickets — in fact, without the Pedros and the Nomars and the Birds and the Bradys of the world, Dan wouldn’t have a job.

It’s valid to criticize sports stars, but Boston takes it to a different level. There was a really telling segment on WEEI this morning with Dennis and Callahan. They were talking to a caller, a journalist, whose name I didn’t catch; they said something about how Pedro would find the same reception and the same criticism no matter where he wound up.

Said journalist pointed out that this was absolutely incorrect. There are plenty of markets out there where the fans don’t get this heated up. You don’t get the same excitement when you win, but maybe (he went on) Pedro doesn’t need that; maybe Pedro gets all his motivation from the inside.

That’s really the bottom line: Boston is hard on its sports stars. People talk a lot about Pedro’s track record of injuries and missing games, but there hasn’t been much talk about the track record of the Boston media. It would have been nice to have a healthy, happy Mo Vaughan around in 1999, you know?

Nobody bitched about Pedro missing the team picture when he made that relief appearance in 1999 against the Indians. He’s paying for the team’s lack of success over the last few years, because Dan Duquette isn’t around any more so there needs to be another target. I guarantee that the people complaining about Pedro now will be asking why Larry Lucchino and John Henry can’t find an ace pitcher two years from now.

[Population: One] <A HREF="http://popone.innocence.com/ar

[The following is a note to myself. Really.]

The telegram says this:

Telluric ectoplasm projector discovered STOP Located in San Francisco STOP Controls still mysterious STOP Daring agents needed STOP Come at once STOP

The Zatarin Agency is located in the basement of a townhouse in San Francisco’s Noe Valley. Above it is the Zatarin Floral Service, and above that is Paul Zatarin’s residence. Mr. Zatarin is a moral man and a first generation immigrant who is immensely proud of his adopted country. As such, when he discovered the telluric ectoplasm projector in the basement, he immediately wired Max Mercer for advice.

Mercer visited San Francisco in person, with Dr. Primoris at his side. Unusually, the pair was unable to make much headway on the device: they were able to turn it on and test its functioning, but control was completely beyond them and the underlying principles remained somewhat of a mystery. Still, it was fairly clear what the thing did.

In short, the telluric ectoplasm projector creates exact replicas of its users and sends them where they are most needed. The window of operation is fairly narrow; a group of people can all arrange to arrive at the same place, but they can’t control where they go and if someone else comes along fifteen minutes later it’s more than likely that they’ll wind up in another location altogether.

Mercer and Zatarin talked over the possibilities, long into the night. Once Mercer was assured that Zatarin had the best interests of the world at heart, he made his recommendation. Simply put, he proposed that Zatarin recruit daring men and women who would be willing to use the telluric ectoplasm projector to fight evil and crime wherever it might take them. And Mercer, as it happened, knew a few likely candidates…

Which brings us back to the telegram. You just got it. There’s a request for assistance therein.

Off to California — and from a basement in San Francisco, the world awaits!