bryant

Yeah, I’m pretty brainless today, so I’m just gonna steal something I said over at Mike’s LJ.

You pretentious little punk. You Rebels make me sick, and the Imperials do too, so stop trying to involve me in your petty little wars. Listen. Your political arguments are obsolete, and you’re too calcified to realize it. We have achieved happiness, but because you’re running the Force meme, you haven’t noticed.

The world is not what you think it is. The real fun — the real world — exists in the interstices between the planets. Starships are merely achingly slow vectors for meme infection. There is a very old AI in a sector you’ve never heard of; we think he’s playing a complex game of chess with himself using Star Destroyers as pieces, but we’re not completely sure. It doesn’t matter enough to find out.

Every inhabitant of Aldeberan uploaded into nanohostels three hours before Vader waved his dick at the planet. The Ewoks are bored furry fans playing at primitivism. Every Mon Calimari you’ve ever met has been a high school student using you as a science project.