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Oct. 5th, 2004 12:40 pm
bryant: (Default)
[personal profile] bryant

So here's the campaign. This is Mike's fault.

It's a little known fact, but once you've been President of the United States, you don't get to die. You live on in eternal unlife after your death; sure, you leave a corpse, because everyone likes funerals, but your Ka goes on.

Yes, Ka. Just like in Egypt. Look at the dollar bill; you think the pyramid isn't there for a reason?

You are bound to the country. You can speak to the current President, but each sentence you speak takes a year of his life. That's the real reason why Presidents age in office. Once a President leaves office you lose your connection to them, but you'll be there to welcome them to the afterlife, oh yes. It's the only excuse you have for a party.

You are as you were when you died. Everyone takes turns caring for Reagan. It's nervewracking; if he wanders off and finds his way to the White House, he could age any sitting President to death in one night of conversation.

Hoover and Nixon could hear the Dead Presidents, but did not join them in the afterlife. Ford never could hear them. Nobody tried talking to David Rice Atchison; everyone was very surprised when he arrived to join the rest of his comrades.

The ghosts of every Treasurer of the United States who ever lived serve the Dead Presidents in the afterlife.

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Date: 2004-10-05 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] that-cad.livejournal.com
Sometimes, [livejournal.com profile] bryant, your genius frightens me.

Hoover?

Date: 2004-10-05 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jadasc.livejournal.com
Why Hoover? Are you thinking, perhaps, of Johnson, who was the other president who went through the impeachment process?

Date: 2004-10-05 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mgrasso.livejournal.com
I need more one-off joke references in my posts, if this is the result. :)

Date: 2004-10-05 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivan23.livejournal.com
Sir, I am in awe. No more can be said.

Re: Hoover?

Date: 2004-10-05 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] multiplexer.livejournal.com
LBJ was not impeached. He chose not to run against Nixon in 1968 because of issues with the conduct of Vietnam.

The only two presidents fully impeached after proceedings was Richard M. "Oakland Raiders Fanatic" Nixon and Andrew Johnson in 1868. He was the man who succeeded Abraham Lincoln after Lincoln was killed in the Ford Theater, and brought up on charges after a 1866 ex-slave uprising in Memphis. It had more to do with the Reconstruction and war profiteering than anything else. However, Johnson was impeached but not removed from office.

Why do I know this? Because I am a HUGE THROBBING NERD.

Re: Hoover?

Date: 2004-10-05 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] multiplexer.livejournal.com
I want you on my quiz bowl team!

Nixon's failure to apepar in the afterlife is because it's NFL season, and in death, he has what he always wanted: Raiders Season Tickets. You know, you don't have to pay for a seat when you're dead?

Re: Hoover?

Date: 2004-10-05 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] multiplexer.livejournal.com
I am. It's so sad, and yet so true.

There's something so right about mixing obscene amounts of drug use, sports, and high stakes poltiics.

Date: 2004-10-05 06:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-tallest.livejournal.com
The spooky bit was reading the essay on John Tyler in What Ifs? of American History right before reading this.

W. H. Harrison must be pissed. Pneumonia forever.

Date: 2004-10-05 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-tallest.livejournal.com
Also: Imagining that Larry Summers' KA is off to serve in the afterlife made my day.

Date: 2004-10-05 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] head58.livejournal.com
5 minutes of Googling have undone you, sir! It's the Quaker thing, isn't it?

Either that or the fact that they were related, and something dark dwells in their bloodline.

Date: 2004-10-05 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mgrasso.livejournal.com
I especially like how this explains hwhy every President looks so damn haggard when they leave. I was watching bits of Dubya's Texas governor debate and gosh, he looked young only a few years ago.

And I got it! Nixon had a secretary named Hoover, and Hoover had a dog named Nixon! :D

Date: 2004-10-05 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carneggy.livejournal.com
Couple of interesting trivia bits - it means Dick Cheney will get to join the Celestial Chorus of Commanders-In-Chief, since he was officially Acting President for 2 1/2 hours on June 29, 2002 (the only other Acting President per the 25th amendment was Bush I, so that's a moot point.)

A built-in campaign Arch-Villain: the spectre of Jefferson Davis, bound to some of the same land, with his henchmen CSA Treasurers Memminger and Trenholm. (After all, the CSA used USA money for the first few months, and later the US Treasury printed CSA money to try to destabilize the currency, muddling with their Kas completely... it's all the Treasurers' faults for Davis & co sticking around.) Nobody's sure if they can talk to the current President or not, but why take a chance?

Date: 2004-10-05 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] that-cad.livejournal.com
And I got it! Nixon had a secretary named Hoover, and Hoover had a dog named Nixon! :D

Is that really it, [livejournal.com profile] bryant?

Date: 2004-10-05 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mgrasso.livejournal.com
Nah, I was just goofing on the Lincoln/Kennedy thing. :)

Date: 2004-10-05 06:36 pm (UTC)
ext_8707: Taken in front of Carnegie Hall (monterey)
From: [identity profile] ronebofh.livejournal.com
Now i'm seeing a Jack Kennedy ghost with brain matter dribbling out the back of his head, à la Ennis/Dillon.

Date: 2004-10-05 06:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeffwik.livejournal.com
What I thought was "poor McKinley."

I suppose Lincoln has it just as bad, though.

More nerdité

Date: 2004-10-05 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mgrasso.livejournal.com
So, are John Adams and Thomas Jefferson like the Chemical Wedding of opposites of this group of ghosts? Because of the whole enemies-in-political-life, friends-in-retirement, dying-on-the-same-day thing?
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