Nancy, Daniel, and Chris Benoit: RIP

[bryant]

At the time I write this, the solid facts are that three people are dead: Chris Benoit, wrestler, and his wife, and their seven year old son. When I heard that news last night I was devastated. Chris Benoit’s death alone would have hit me hard; add a family tragedy to it, and the news horrified me.

But it’s worse. The preponderance of evidence is that Chris Benoit killed his wife and son.

My friend Jay called me last night to tell me that the Benoit family was dead. I had guests; I figured I could wait to find out what happened, which was true. Around 11, Susan and I got online to read the news at the same time as we pulled up Monday Night RAW on our TiVo.

RAW opened with Vince McMahon, whose character had recently died in the ongoing WWE storyline. He explained that the Benoit family was dead “in reality,” and that the three hour special RAW which had been planned to forward the McMahon murder storyline was canceled for a tribute program. The arena was empty but for him and the various WWE announcers. No audience. They’re still figuring out how they’ll handle ticket refunds.

So we watched as Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, John Bradshaw, and Michael Cole talked about Benoit and introduced clips from some of the most important matches in his career. We watched a few WWE wrestlers deliver tributes. A couple of those — Chavo Guerrero, Dean Malenko — were among Benoit’s small inner circle. He had few close friends.

And at the same time, we read reports online. The news consensus slowly converged. It became painfully, stunningly likely that Chris Benoit killed his family. I won’t ever know, but I think some of the people delivering tributes suspected. It wasn’t the most surreal piece of television I’ve ever seen in my life — that happened six years ago — but it was just as hard for me to wrap my mind around it as anything else I’ve ever witnessed.

Benoit was a hero of mine. I don’t think he is any longer, but he was, and for good reason. This is not goofy Bryant, this is not Bryant saying things for effect — which, yeah, I do. This is flat truth. It’s hard for me to compare what Benoit did for a living to what professional athletes do, or what professional actors do, but I have no qualms at all about saying that he had a legitimate case for being one of the top ten performers in the world.

I’ll talk about that for a bit. This is me processing; this is me talking about a hero who did something I can barely comprehend.

Pro wrestling is freeform improvisation. The end of a match is known; a few things that happen during a match are pre-planned. The flow of the match is laid out beforehand, in most cases. Specifics are improvised during the match. When a wrestler fights for a submission hold, there’s no doubt about whether or not he’ll be successful, but the decision to go for that hold was made perhaps seconds ago.

Good wrestlers work their matches in response to both other wrestlers in the ring and the reactions of the crowd. There are good guys and bad guys; it’s incumbent on a wrestler to wrestle in accordance with their character. If the crowd is getting behind a bad guy, the wrestlers need to come up with a reason for the crowd to boo. If the crowd is bored, the wrestlers need to figure out — on the fly — ways to pick the crowd up. The emotional intensity of the match needs to build from beginning to end; you can’t just start hot and keep going if you want a good match.

The elements of that improvisation depend on which style of wrestling you’re watching. WWE crowds expect different things than, say, a Japanese crowd watching an All Japan match. Whereas in one promotion, it might be appropriate to counter an arm drag with a single-leg takedown, that might make no sense to the audience for another promotion.

Plus, of course, you have to be an athlete. Quality varies. Benoit was certainly a great athlete. And he was a great performer. He’s one of the few guys who could seamlessly, painlessly move from style to style depending on where he was wrestling. No matter which style he was using at a given moment, he made you believe it. Not easy; there are a lot of cards stacked against pro wrestlers trying to create real believable emotion out of a fake sporting event. Benoit was good at it.

I don’t know if I’ve really explained why he was my hero. The preceding is about the best I can do. A man I admired for the passion of his work, for his devotion to his craft, and for the pleasure he gave me every time I watched him create in the ring… killed his family.

I want to think that the Benoit who wrestled the Great Sasuke, Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, Jushin Liger, Kurt Angle, Edge, so many others — I want to think of him as my hero, and I want to believe that he went mad. I want the Chris Benoit who killed his family to be a different person. I don’t know if I’ll be able to believe that or not, a week from now.

I’m locked and awash in exhaustion, and I suspect I’ll be better able to process this when I’ve slept. This, this is just me writing: putting words down to try and build a framework of understanding around a tragedy.

He had a son, David, from a previous relationship; he had a daughter, Megan, with his previous wife.

Nancy, Daniel, and Chris Benoit are dead.

Originally published at Imaginary Vestibule.

Comments

[michele-blue.livejournal.com]

He was my favorite, you know? You showed me so many matches to show me the bits of wrestling you love, and a ton of those matches had him in them. And yeah, you always talked very respectfully about his athleticism and his pacing and his ability to perform in different wrestling styles. I really grew to admire him through the filter of your enjoyment, and then my own.

I just watched the press conference, and it absolutely broke my heart. I keep thinking about Nancy and Daniel, and christ. That poor family.

[editswlonghair.livejournal.com]

Sorry you are taking this so hard. It always hurts hardest when it is one of your heroes that lets you down. :(

[that-cad.livejournal.com]

That's rough, man, and I'm sorry to hear.

[jeffwik.livejournal.com]

My condolences to you (and to you, Susan). It's plainly hit y'all hard.

[heart-of-stars.livejournal.com]

When I was really young, I was a genuine Hulkamaniac. He was the best - he was good, he was strong, and he always fought fair even when the bad guys cheated like crazy. I don't care how silly it sounds, I still get giddy little goosebumps when I hear "I Am A Real American", or when I see those old videos of him starting to do his "comeback face" and turn a match around. I knew it was fake, even as a kid, but I liked it anyway. Hulk was awesome.

Then when I got older, I started to make fun of wrestlers, back when I first started college. It was just starting to really explode in the public eye and suddenly it seemed like everybody had wrestling for years, and so I felt compelled to go against the grain. Then three things happened:

1) I started watching the Rock. I still do - whatever you call that charm of his, it works on me. He's great, and he has an uncanny way of making me laugh.
2) I started to watch the cruiserweights, and was amazed by the athleticism on display. (I later respected the physicality all around, but I started with the high-flying stuff.)
3) Mick Foley spoke at my school, and I got to hear what it was all like firsthand. One helluva speaker and a really nice guy at the meet 'n greet after. I watched "Beyond the Mat" not long after, and well... yeah.

After that, I pretty much shut my mouth and enjoyed. I won't try to claim that I became a super fan, but I liked to catch up now and again. I have no words for Benoit.... I'm sorry it looks like things are going to turn out so horrifyingly on top of everything else. My condolences.

[ogier30.livejournal.com]

This has hit me hard as well.

I find myself thinking that Chris Benoit (wrestler) may have been the character Chris Benoit (apparent murder-suicide) had been playing for at least a while. This may just be a way for me to continue to admire Chris Benoit, wrestler, however.

[eddyfate.livejournal.com]

I am still hoping that there's a sane explanation for this. I'm not going to let the media pass sentence so easily. If it is true, however, I agree with you that the loss of a hero (and he was my hero as well, for many years) is hard, but the loss of virtue is so much harder.

[dcltdw]

If I'm understanding correctly, you're saying he was a great artist, whose work and dedication you greatly admired.

It's just that "artist" is not normally applied to pro wrestling, I think. But then it all makes sense, at least to me: "and then Brahms killed his family?!?".

I know nothing of wrestling, but I can relate to the sadness of this...

[bryant]

Yeah, exactly it.

Why? Will we ever now?

[reverendmarley.livejournal.com]

Hi Bryant, I was directed to your entry by a mutual friend, Jacob (death by monkey).

How are you holding up? Have you come any closer to understanding what happened?

I haven't. I can't even begin to understand it, not even close. Everything I knew about Benoit, or thought I knew, led to him being a stand-up guy. Maybe he snapped, maybe he went into a fit of rage brought on by steroids, or years and years of physical abuse finally took their toll... either way you look at it, his wife of many years, their seven year old son, and the man himself are gone.

I've continued to watch the reports and feedback come in. The confusion and hurt of his friends and coworkers, the speculation of the media, and the WWE seemingly trying to cover its own ass. I don't think our questions will ever be answered.

As tragic as it is, maybe some good will come of this... and I hate to say it like that, but if something positive can come from this tragedy, it's better than nothing. Maybe this will expose the flaws in the way WWE functions, and some change will happen.

Re: Why? Will we ever now?

[bryant]

Life's going on, y'know?

I think he snapped. We may never know why. I have no doubt steroids were part of it, WWE pressure was part of it, the fact that he had a kid with serious developmental issues was part of it -- I read a note from a guy who works with kids with Fragile X. He said that by the time they hit 8-10 years old, parents usually have to put them into homes because the problems are so severe. Far worse than autism; and care costs typically run over $100,000 a year. Money issues must have been part of it.

None of it is an excuse, of course.

[bryant]

That's a horribly slanted article. While it's true that the edit in question happened, it's also true that the same IP address made a number of vandal edits to other pages around the same time, with a bunch of equally disturbing news that wasn't true.